Your Individual Development
You may be interested in your individual personal development, in terms of the following:
-Identifying your personal development goals and working toward desired outcomes
-Changing your lifestyle to reduce stressors or improve the quality of your life
-Identifying and Learning something new or engaging more in novelty or adventure
-Engaging more in physical, recreational and social interests, activities and events
-Designating regular time for self-care or self-regulating interests and activities
-You may have specific life goals and priorities you want to work toward in a more systematic or consistent manner with the help and support of a life coach.
-You might also identify tasks, situations, activities or projects in your life you have neglected, but if attended to might contribute to better feelings about yourself and your life.
Individual Personal Change and Development
Individual personal change and development is actually an ongoing dilemma you are choosing to pursue related to your personal life at different times throughout your life.
It involves deciding you want somehow to be different or want changes in your life due to insight, inspiration, life events, circumstances, desired outcomes or some negative consequences going on that you feel requires things to be different.
Individual development may be challenging or seem impossible due to busy personal and work life schedules, limited time, life stressors, conflicts, anxiety, depression, negative narratives, finances, routines, habits, relationships, and other problems that get in the way.
We need time to both contemplate what we want to be different in our lives and then regular time to make it happen.
It is first most important to identify what you want to change or develop regarding some aspect of yourself.
It might start with being curious about a subject you want to learn more about.
It could also involve learning to do something you want to know how to do.
It may mean becoming better at something you used to engage in such as playing an instrument or returning to some kind of creative expression you used to engage in.
It can also mean changing some aspect of yourself you want to be different such as being physically more active, healthier, calmer or having more excitement or adventure in your life.
It could mean attending to tasks or matters that you have neglected such as getting rid of too much clutter in your home, house projects, financial matters, planning for retirement or other concerns and decisions needing to be made for the future.
You may want to work on your life to improve your mood, be less anxious, be less angry, have less conflict or be better at self-regulating your emotional states.
Perhaps you want to start dating or finding someone to be in an ongoing couple relationship.
It could be time to address issues and concerns in your couple, family, friends or work relationships, in terms, of improving your communication, collaboration, emotional connection or resolving conflicts.
Maybe you want to start to turn your hobby, craft or art into a side business.
Perhaps you have an idea for starting a business that you eventually want to transition from a job to doing full time.
Many people are in jobs and careers that are not a good fit… meaning not meeting their needs and desired outcomes so look to change jobs or careers to find a better fit.
Sometimes that may include getting additional education or training that would support transition to a new job or career.
With all the above or other possibilities, you are the only one that can determine what you want and what is important for you about the change or development you want to make in your life.
It is also necessary to consider for you how your life will be better or more fulfilling in making a specific change or working to develop in a specific way?
What will be your desired outcomes in your pursuit?
How compelling will it be to work toward and achieving your desired outcomes?
You must also identify what your important criteria are as to why you are making a specific change or developing specific aspects of your life.
Identifying your highly valued criteria helps you decide how motivated you are to change or develop in the specific ways you are considering.
Is it worth doing what it will take to actually reach your desired-outcomes?
In addition, you have to explore and consider the best way to go about making the change or development you want in your life.
You have to be willing to explore, learn, make mistakes, encounter obstacles, work through being stuck, be patient, disengage from negative or critical narratives, as well as, recognize your progress along the way.
Finally, knowing what you want to change or develop in your life and how to best go about it is important, but what is even more critical is how do you get yourself to do what is necessary to move forward and make progress.
You must designate regular time to work on the change or development you are pursuing.
How will other areas of your life be impacted when making time to focus on the change or development?
How will it impact your relationships with those close to you and how do those people feel about what you are embarking on?
Are they supportive or trying to talk you out of the change or development path you are on?
People that are creative or want to develop some aspect in their life, often have many ideas, but the challenge is in narrowing and sustaining a focus to achieve something tangible.
Sometimes, people attempt to work on multiple ideas or avenues related to change or development efforts and that can become stressful, overwhelming and counterproductive to getting anything done.
People may also have unrealistic expectations related to the time and effort involved in their changes or development efforts that can add pressure or becomes discouraging when things aren’t happening fast enough.
Most people will usually only do something different or change when it makes sense to them, not necessarily due to what other people think or suggest.
People are different so they change at different rates depending on their urgency, motivation, their own internal and external resources, as well as, the particular circumstances they face.
There can also be parts of ourselves that doubt or question that, we will be able to actually accomplish what we are intending to do and that are in conflict with other parts that want to move forward.
We have to learn to manage the conflicting parts of ourselves so that they don’t get in our way.
There will always be tension between different parts of yourself, as well as, between your present state and your desired state as it relates to change or development.
Most of us resist change, especially change imposed on us.
However, even when we have a strong desire or need to change, we can find ourselves facing some emotional turbulence but must ride it out.
People tend to be use to their routines, habits and patterns in their lives so they understandable prefer to persist in what they have always done even when it is not work for them.
Any change or development is a blending of a back and forth of the old or familiar with the new and uncertain.
There can be doubts, discouragement, negative narratives, “what if” scenarios, set backs, and lack of progress, at times, along the way toward your desire outcomes.
Sometimes, the negative narratives are the result of discouraging messages we received growing up from parents or past experiences, disappointments or things that didn’t work and now are getting triggered as we attempt to pursue our desired outcomes.
We have to manage the negative narratives by challenging, redirecting, neutralizing or focusing on a more constructive narrative that supports the progress made and moving toward the desired outcomes.
Often negative narratives are related to our past bad experiences or what we are afraid might or might not happen in the future.
Problematic narratives function to distract us and take us off the road and into the weeds instead of the path toward what we want to achieve.
Negative narratives are like bad or outdated software that doesn’t work in helping us get our desired outcomes instead creating negative emotional states and counterproductive behavior.
Most change starts slowly and progresses incrementally building on it self when you are engaged in making the right effort.
Change can occur in a linear or non-linear fashion.
Change can come from a well-developed plan or from chaotic wondering and stumbling until something you want happens.
Change is more of an evolution over time rather than a revolution or transformation in a moment in time.
However, change can also be a paradox coming about in unexpected ways and times.
In making any change or beginning any new direction or development in your life, it is important to access your own personal internal resources… meaning remembering other times in your life when you made some significant change or accomplishment that was compelling for you.
What were you thinking and experiencing then and how were you going about it in ways that may relate to what you are attempting to do now in making things different in your life.
It can also be helpful to find people who have successfully made similar changes or are developing in ways you want to serve as a model, inspiration, resource or frame of reference for best approaches and practices.
These may be people you already know in your family, among friends or people you work with, as well as, people you don’t know who you may find in other interests, activities or communities that you engage in.
The knowledge learned from those people may help you not only know what to do, but also what to avoid doing in order to be successful in your change or development effort.
Of course, another good place to start to begin to learn or develop in almost anything you have an interest in is by looking on the internet for related resources and experts..
I have had clients who got started doing any number of activities such as:
Making jewelry, painting, wood working, backpacking, camping, learning to play an instrument, writing, dancing, acting, doing Yoga, Tai Chi, Martial Arts, making pottery, learning a language, public speaking, changing jobs, changing careers, starting a business and a host of other things by looking on-line for information and help.
Later they may have progressed to on-line or in person classes, or coaching and mentoring from a good source.
Networking through social media platforms or forums can also lead to like-minded people, resources and communities with similar interests that want to share information or learning experiences that support your change or development pursuits.
A life coach can also be someone to help you in exploring and working on what you want to be different in your life, help you assess your progress, help you work through obstacles when feeling stuck, as well as, help you to be accountable in moving forward.
It often is not too late to change or develop regarding some aspect of your life, if it is feasible and you are willing to do what it will take to accomplish it.
It is has been amazing for me to learn not only what my clients have done in their lives, but also to help them in finding and working on something new and compelling they want to make happen in their lives in the future.
Pursuing your passions in your life can be enriching for you and for those you interact with.
Copyright 2021, Individual Personal Change and Development, M. Douglas Evans, All Rights Reserved